2 more Months

Well in two more months, and it will be a year since We started trying to have another baby.. It was so easy the first time. I guess I am just getting older now and so is he and who knows. Sometimes I am sad about it. I've kind of got use to the fact that it's just not happening, for some reason right now it's just not meant to be I except that now. But I am not giving up either. I want at least one more child. So today I am kind of relaxing, listening to music. Not doing much.
I went and got my hair cut, trying to figure out what to do with it. I'm also been trying to lose weight, I need to so much. I really hate the way I have let myself go. I'm very ashamed of myself, I don't even want to think what other people think of me. For so long I have shut myself out to other people. I'm actually proud of myself, I went and did something with someone other than my husband the other day. Normally I would just stay home with Zach and not do anything. I think going out and bowling as really helped me a lot, and I am meeting other people. Very awesome to actually talk to people I don't know. I think for the first time in a long time, I am really enjoy my life. For the last few it seems I was in a dark lonely hole. I guess it's because I struggle sometimes with depression, but fight hard to be happy. So today I am going to be happy and enjoy life, and take one day at a time. Sorry so random.